gormworm’s vegetarian diet ...

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab an apple.

Step #2.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a tomato.

Step #2.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab an ear of corn.

Step #2.:
Stick it in a pot of boiling water.

Step #3.:
Forget about it for a little while.

Step #4.:
Pull it out of the boiling water.

Step #5.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a bell pepper.

Step #2.:
Think about washing it off and/or cooking it.

Step #3.:
Shrug your shoulders.

Step #4.:
Eat it raw.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a head of lettuce.

Step #2.:
Turn on the water faucet.

Step #3.:
Pull off a leaf from the head of lettuce.

Step #4.:
Stick it under the running water until you’re sure that any sand, dirt, and/or worms are washed off.

Step #5.:
Eat it.

Step #6.:
Repeat steps #2 thru Step #5 until the lettuce is gone.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a jug of milk out of the refrigerator.

Step #2.:
Remember the Dave Louthan and “Mad Cowboy” radio programs that explain how a large number of the Cows that are milked are infected with the BSE prions that cause Mad Cow disease in cows, and CJDv in humans.

Step #3.:
Think about throwing the milk away without drinking it.

Step #4.:
Think of a neighbor that you’d like to get rid of, ... go to their place, .. knock on their door, ... and leave the unopened milk on their doorstep.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab 6 or 7 spud potatoes.

Step #2.:
Throw them into a pot of boiling water.

Step #3.:
Forget about them for a while..

Step #4.:
Pull them out of the pot and place them on a clean towel.

Step #5.:
Pour out the hot water (outside ... not down the pipes).

Step #4.:
Dry out the pot with a clean towel.

Step #5.:
Pour a quart of corn oil into the pot.

Step #6.:
Heat the oil.

Step #7.:
Cut up the boiled potatoes, and put them into the boiling oil.

Step #8.:
As the potato sections turn brown and crispy, .. pull them out of the oil and place them on a few layers of paper towels to drain off the excess oil.

Step #9.:
Eat them.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a handful of roasted peanuts out of the plastic jar of roasted peanuts that you bought at Costco.

Step #2.:
Eat the handful of peanuts.

Step #3.:
Repeat steps #1. & #2.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator.

Step #2.:
Remember that chickens are fed the same BSE contaminated animal meal that is fed to Mad Cows.

Step #3.:
Give the eggs to a neighbor that you don’t like.

Step #4.:
Grab an apple.

Step #5.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Go to the raspberry bushes that grow out of the redwood pots next to the front door.

Step #2.:
Look to see if there are any raspberries growing there.

Step #3.:
Pluck off any raspberries that are ripe enough to eat.

Step #4.:
Eat them.

[Gummer]

A new diet book is in the works? :D

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Listen and nod your head as the beautiful girl loudly complains that you never take her anywhere.

Step #2.:
Ask her where her favorite restaurant is.

Step #3.:
Take her to the restaurant, .. tell her to order whatever she wants from the menu.

Step #4.:
When the waitress comes, ... let the beautiful girl order first, .. then say:
”Just black coffee for me, thanks.”

Step #5.:
Drink the coffee very slowly while the beautiful woman talks and eats.

Step #8.:
When the beautiful woman is through eating and talking, ... pay for the meal and leave a $5.00 tip.

Step #7.:
If you’re still hungry a few hours later, grab a raw cucumber.

Step #8.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

A new diet book is in the works? :D

Yeah.
I should probably write one.
All of these procedures are hard to remember sometimes.

My friends are always forgetting the details of my diet.

Step #1.:
Smile when your idiot friend offers you a slice of cheesecake with cherries and chocolate sauce on top.

Step #2.:
Ask for a cup of black coffee if it’s available.

Step #3.:
When your idiot friend insists on placing a plate of the cherry / chocolate cheesecake in front of you at the table, ... politely take the fork, .. and pull off a mouthful onto the folk.

Step #4.:
Wave the fork full of cheesecake in the air if you’re talking.
But don’t put any of it in your mouth.
You can’t allow your blood glucose to rise to the level that the cherry / chocolate cheesecake will take it to.

Step #5.:
Drink the coffee, .. and leave the cherry / chocolate cheesecake on the plate.

Step #6.:
If need be, .. hide the plate of cherry / chocolate cheesecake under a piece of furniture and discreetly leave.

Step #7.:
If you find that you’re hungry once you get back home, grab a raw pear.

Step #8.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

If a friend offers you a drink while his wife is preparing dinner.

Step #1.:
Ask for ice with whatever liquor he is serving you.

Step #2.:
Swirl the ice around with the liquor in the highball glass as you talk with your friend.
Do not drink any of the liquor.

Step #3.:
When dinner is served, .. eat the vegetables.
Move the other food around on your plate with your fork.

Step #4.:
If need be, ... place a portion of the uneaten food into a napkin, and ask to use the bathroom.

Step #5.:
Once you’ve smuggled the food into the bathroom, ... flush it down the toilet.

Step #7.:
If you find that you’re hungry once you get back home, grab a handful of sweet pea pods.

Step #8.:
Eat them.

[gormworm]

If your friend’s wife cooks you a casserole:

Step #1.:
Once you’re alone, transfer the casserole into a disposable pan.

Step #2.:
If need be, .. sprinkle some cheese onto the top of the transferred casserole, .. and heat in the oven until the cheese melts.

Step #3.:
Give the re-heated casserole to a neighbor that you plan to ask a favor of later on.

Step #4.:
Wash out the casserole dish that the casserole was originally given to you in.

Step #5.:
Wait a few days, .. and return the empty casserole dish to the neighbor who gave it to you.

Step #6.:
Thank the neighbor for the food, .. and lie about how wonderful it was.

Step #8.:
If you find that you’re hungry once you get back home, grab a handful of raw sweet peppers.

Step #9.:
Eat them.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Grab a can of tomatoes.

Step #2.:
Open it.

Step #3.:
Throw it into a pot.

Step #4.:
Grab a can of corn

Step #5.:
Open it.

Step #6.:
Throw it into a pot.

Step #7.:
Grab a can of carrots

Step #8.:
Open it.

Step #9.:
Throw it into a pot.

Step #10.:
Heat the contents of the pot, .. stirring occasionally.

Step #11.:
Grab the bottle of tobasco sauce

Step #12.:
Drop several droplets of tobasco into the mixture, .. depending on how brave or self-destructive you’re feeling

Step #13.:
When you get tired of cooking the soup, ... pour some of it into a bowl.

Step #14.:
Grab a spoon.

Step #15.:
Eat it.

[gormworm]

Step #1.:
Go to Costco and buy some 5 pound bags of raw carrots.

Step #2.:
Get out the Juice Man machine, some clean sun tea jars, and some clean new paper bags.

Step #3.:
Place an empty sun tea jar under the liquid output spout. ... Place a clean empty paper bag under the solid material output spout. ... Turn the Juice Man machine on.

Step #4.:
Start shoving raw carrots into the machine.

Step #5.:
When one sun tea jar becomes full of carrot juice, ... pull it away from the machine, .. sliding another empty sun tea jar under the liquid output spout in it’s place.

Step #6.:
When one paper bag becomes full of carrot shreds, ... pull it away from the machine, .. sliding another empty paper bag under the solid material output spout in it’s place.

Step #7.:
When you run out of carrots, ... or when you run out of clean, empty, sun tea jars, ... turn off the Juice Man machine.

Step #8.:
Screw the lids onto the carrot juice filled sun tea jars, and place them in the refrigerator.

Step #9.:
Fill a pair of plastic gallon jugs with water.
Turn the Juice Man machine back on.
Gradually pour the water into the intake slot in the top of the machine while the machine is running (doing all of this out of doors, of course).
This will clean all of the ground up pulp out of the Juice Man machine.

Step #10.:
Unplug the Juice Man machine and put it away.
Get out the electric frying pan.

Step #11.:
In a big clean mixing bowl, ... throw in a handful of carrot shreds from one of the paper bags.

Step #12.:
Add a cup or so of Krustease Complete (just add water) buckwheat pancake mix.

Step #13.:
Open a can of creamed corn, and mix it into the carrot shreds and Krustease mix with a wooden spatula.
Mix until the mixture is the consistency of wet bondo.

Step #14.:
Pour a tablespoon or so of corn oil into the electric frying pan.

Step #15.:
When the oil is sizzling hot, .. drop a dollop of the carrot / corn / Krustease mixture into the frying pan, .. spreading it out with the wooden spatula until it is the shape and thickness of a pancake.

Step #16.:
When it’s cooked on one side, ... flip it over and let it cook on the other side.

Step #17.:
When it seems cooked enough, ... use the wooden spatula to lift the pancake out of the frying pan, .. and place it onto a plate.

Step #18.:
Repeat step #14 thru step #17... stacking each new pancake on top of the stack that is forming on the plate.

Step #19.:
When the plate is full, ... place it on a shelf of the refrigerator with the jars of carrot juice.

Step #20.:
In the near future, ... when ever your blood glucose is low, .. and/or you’re hungry for a snack, ... pour yourself a glass of carrot juice and nosh on one or two of the corn / carrot / Krustease griddle-cakes.

[Aquarius]

You are giving some very good advice gormworm, I am a vegatarian, I shop at Costco all the time but buy my veggies at Whole Foods or my Organic Market. I try to stay away from dairy, I do use half and half in my coffee or I should say expresso. Thanks for all your hard work putting this together.

[gormworm]

You are giving some very good advice gormworm, ... Thanks for all your hard work putting this together.

You're welcome.

No hard work involved, really.
I'm procrastinating over taking a shower.
Sitting behind the computer and typing stuff is more fun than physical stuff these days.
Especially showering.

And suggestions on vegetarian cooking?

I'm too lazy to cook most of the time.
(Is making a pot of coffee in the Mister Coffee machine, .. and placing the pot in the refrigerator after it's done considered cooking?)

I developed a taste for "Iced Coffee" while living in Rhode Island for a decade or so.
If it's really good coffee, ... and pulled off of the coffee pot burner quickly, ... right after it's brewed, ... it tastes great when chilled.

I guess it's an acquired taste.
No sweetener nor dairy nor "whitener" in the coffee for me.

After I was first diagnosed with Diabetes, ... I'd stir a teaspoon or so of molasses into the coffee pot right after it was brewed.
Now I just make it, and drink it purely black.

I depend on raw fruit and/or carrot juice to kick my blood glucose up when it's too low.

I eat nuts for my fat & protein.

I don’t know if this is a great vegetarian diet or not.
It’s just what I’ve been doing.

I’m not dead yet, ... so I guess my diet isn’t too bad. :D

No liquor, .. no sugar, .. no milk (BSE prions), .. no butter (BSE prions), .. no eggs (BSE prions), .. no cheese (BSE prions), .. no dead animals of any kind (BSE prions), ..no chocolate, ... no ice cream (BSE prions), .. no Jell-O / gelatin (BSE prions) ... except for the glucosamine & chondroitin that I can’t seem to live without.

It seems like a boring diet.
But it’s really not all that bad, ... once you’ve gotten used to it.

Please, feel free to add any vegetarian tips / suggestions / recipes you might have. :)

[Captain Beyond]

Thanks gorm for putting a macho touch to your cooking instructions.I particularly like the descriptions you use like,'the consistency of wet bondo'.Really puts a man's touch on it :D

[Gummer]

The "wet bondo" reminds me of the gray goo served to prisoners for sustenance in sci-fi movies... :eek:

[gormworm]

The "wet bondo" reminds me of the gray goo served to prisoners for sustenance in sci-fi movies... :eek:

If it was made by a prop department, ... it probably was bondo.

When I was studying at the Art Center / College of Design in Pasadena back in the 1970's ... I used to make some money on the side fabricating ice cubes out of clear Plexiglas for the photography students.
It's important that the ice has "just the right size and shape", and doesn't melt under the heat from the bright lights when shooting stills, and filming commercials.

Getting suggestive "sexy stuff" into the highlights and shadows formed by the sculpted cubes is very important as well.
"Sex sells."

[Gummer]

Was that part of the subliminal sex messaging thing that had everyone cranked up back then? Ya know the suggestive images inside ice cubes...

[gormworm]

Was that part of the subliminal sex messaging thing that had everyone cranked up back then? Ya know the suggestive images inside ice cubes...

Subliminal imaging is a huge industry.

Back in the 1970's, we used to use "hands on" techniques for painting in dildoes and ... other anatomical things ... and "events"... into the selected photographs to be used in print advertising for everything from liquor to tobacco, dessert products, automobiles, and jeans.

Quite often, frame by frame illustration animation was worked into pieces of film for TV commercials.
An orgy of mixed sexual couples animated into the stream of Coca-Cola being poured into a glass.
Female vocal orgasms and baby cries of joy back mastered into the sounds of the fizzing, sloshing liquid.

Now a days, .. with digital image manipulation and digital sound manipulation techniques, ... audio and visual subliminal advertising is more cost effective, .. and more prevalent than ever.
You can create a visual animation and/or audio sound that creates an automatic psychological response in humans, ... and load it into a piece of video that lasts less than a tenth of a second.

If you ever go to the Preview House in Hollywood, ... one of the places where television pilots, and subliminal advertisements are tried out on a captive audience in order to check their direct feedback responses, ... maybe you'll see some of what I'm talking about.

Of course, .. if the folks producing the video and audio subliminal material are doing their job with well crafted items, ... you'll never know what hit you.
Not consciously, .. anyway.

[Aquarius]

Quote
"I developed a taste for "Iced Coffee" while living in Rhode Island for a decade or so.
If it's really good coffee, ... and pulled off of the coffee pot burner quickly, ... right after it's brewed, ... it tastes great when chilled.
I guess it's an acquired taste.
No sweetener nor dairy nor "whitener" in the coffee for me."


http://www.peets.com/shop/shop.asp?rdir=1&
No iced coffee for me. I get my coffee from Berkeley, Ca. it is Peets Coffee and Tea, it is roasted daily locally at their factory, not like Starbucks that sits around on a shelf somewhere. I actually grind it expresso, pour boiling water thru a filter directly into my cup. The coffee is a very dark roast, looks black and is not bitter like Starbucks or oily. If you ever get to the Bay Area try it sometime or order it online. Peets is also acquired taste, most people do not know what real coffee taste like.

The first time my mailman delivered me Peets, he said what is that wonderful aroma, I said it is fresh roasted coffee, he said you are kidding right, coffee doesn't smell like that, I had him wait and gave him some to take home, he is hooked.

[Ferine]

no Jell-O / gelatin (BSE prions) ... except for the glucosamine & chondroitin that I can’t seem to live without

I take glucosamine & chondroitin too, you can buy it also where the chondroitin is derived from shark cartilage instead of bovine cartilage. Since I read your posts regularly concerning CJD - I decided the shark derivitive would be a better choice, for the time being that is.

[gormworm]

I take glucosamine & chondroitin too, you can buy it also where the chondroitin is derived from shark cartilage instead of bovine cartilage. Since I read your posts regularly concerning CJD - I decided the shark derivitive would be a better choice, for the time being that is.

Good advice.
I'll have to look into that.

[maryals]

I can give up warm blooded meat if I have to, but there is nothing healthier, in a protein, than wild Alaskan Seafood such as salmon and halibut.
I also like your "male" approach to sharing recipes Agreed
If you like rice, and brown rice is especially good for you, I suggest a rice steamer. You want to have real rice, like you buy at an Oriental Store, NOT "Uncle Ben's". We also like Basmati rice. In fact, a meal of rice and beans gives the combination of Amino Acids that your body needs to build protein.

I like your idea of just "grazing"; have a small veggie patch, pick something when it is ripe, and eat it right there. There are many organic, non-chemical insecticides on the market now.

When RainMaker and me go out for a meal we often go to our favorite Korean Restaurant. It is home made Korean food. I always feel better after such a meal, especially when "mama" gives us each a small dish of her home made tofu and home made spices for it. YUM!

Thank you so much Gormworm!

Happy eating!
Mary