'Pay It Forward' Pays Off

[Judee]

Isn't this wonderful? :)


'Pay it forward' pays off

For all those dismayed by scenes of looting in disaster-struck zones, whether Haiti or Chile or elsewhere, take heart: Good acts - acts of kindness, generosity and cooperation - spread just as easily as bad. And it takes only a handful of individuals to really make a difference.

In a study published in the March 8 early online edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers from the University of California, San Diego and Harvard provide the first laboratory evidence that cooperative behavior is contagious and that it spreads from person to person to person. When people benefit from kindness they "pay it forward" by helping others who were not originally involved, and this creates a cascade of cooperation that influences dozens more in a social network.

Full Story:
http://www.physorg.com/news187281963.html

[Alpha]

This is very interesting....


"Though the multiplier in the real world may be higher or lower than what we've found in the lab," Fowler said, "personally it's very exciting to learn that kindness spreads to people I don't know or have never met. We have direct experience of giving and seeing people's immediate reactions, but we don't typically see how our generosity cascades through the social network to affect the lives of dozens or maybe hundreds of other people."What we need is more kindness, acceptance and understanding in this world and not only in emergency or tragic situations...it should just be humanity's norm.


Steps to Paying It Forward



Be attentive wherever you are for opportunities to help someone. Perhaps you have an elderly or disabled neighbor who is too proud to ask for help with their yard work or maybe you're in a restaurant (http://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Great-Restaurant) and see someone who looks like they could use some kind stranger to pay for their meal. You can change people's attitudes about the world through your unobtrusive acts of kindness (http://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Random-Acts-of-Kindness).
Do something nice for someone you don't know (or don't know very well). It should be something significant, and not for a person from whom you expect a good deed -- or anything at all, for that matter -- in return.
Spread the word. If the person thanks you and wants to "repay" you (that is, pay it "back"), let them know that what you'd really like is for them to pay it "forward" -- you'd like them to do something nice for three people they don't know, and ask those three people to do something nice for three more people. The idea is to consciously increase the goodness of the world.
Pay it forward. When you notice that somebody has done something nice for you, make a note in your mind to practice three acts of kindness towards other people, as described in Step 2.

Full Article (http://www.wikihow.com/Pay-It-Forward)

[Judee]

This is very interesting....

What we need is more kindness, acceptance and understanding in this world and not only in emergency or tragic situations...it should just be humanity's norm.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone lived like that Alpha? It would be a such a joy! :)

[VOguy]

A lot of people need to learn this. And also to resist being a willing accomplice to promoting the dark side.

But more people are attracted to a street fight, than to a little girl handing a flower to an old man. (((deep sigh)))

[Judee]

A lot of people need to learn this. And also to resist being a willing accomplice to promoting the dark side.

But more people are attracted to a street fight, than to a little girl handing a flower to an old man. (((deep sigh)))

True VO. I like some sort of a balance for myself. The hippies learned that you can't live 'in the real world' by handing out flowers to everyone, hugging and kissing each other all the time, and singing cutesy songs. I like to know what's going on in the world - both the good and the bad. I embrace the good, and feel sadness over the bad; but I don't dwell on the bad/negative.

[VOguy]

True VO. I like some sort of a balance for myself. The hippies learned that you can't live 'in the real world' by handing out flowers to everyone, hugging and kissing each other all the time, and singing cutesy songs. I like to know what's going on in the world - both the good and the bad. I embrace the good, and feel sadness over the bad; but I don't dwell on the bad/negative.

I agree, but I think think there is a big difference between wanting to know what is going on, and focusing on the events in the world. A good example was the president's speech today. I'm interested in knowing what he says, but there were people listening, getting irate, and turning to heated discussions with co-workers.

I think that once you cross the line between wanting to know, and letting the events own you, you have lost the battle. Once the negativity starts, the evil spirits move in.

Just my humble opinion.

[Judee]

I agree, but I think think there is a big difference between wanting to know what is going on, and focusing on the events in the world. A good example was the president's speech today. I'm interested in knowing what he says, but there were people listening, getting irate, and turning to heated discussions with co-workers.

I think that once you cross the line between wanting to know, and letting the events own you, you have lost the battle. Once the negativity starts, the evil spirits move in.

Just my humble opinion.

Exactly, and that was my point. One doesn't have to let negativity in. It is a conscious choice. Whether we read, or hear something negative, it's our choice whether or not to allow it to control us! ;)

[earthist]

Seems to me the easiest way to keep negativity out, and to avoid getting "owned" by something, is to simply not care about it. For instance, if I didn't care about my kids, I wouldn't bother getting upset when something threatens them. If I didn't care about the planet, I wouldn't care about pollution and such. And so forth.

Obviously, there needs to be a way to control our involvement with something, especially some of the inane things (celebrity boo-boos, etc) people seem to get wrapped up in. Yet, it seems like a mistake to suggest that it's easy for people to keep negativity out and not get caught up in things. 'Tain't that easy where I live.

Just a thought. :shrug:

[VOguy]

Obviously, there needs to be a way to control our involvement with something, especially some of the inane things (celebrity boo-boos, etc) people seem to get wrapped up in. Yet, it seems like a mistake to suggest that it's easy for people to keep negativity out and not get caught up in things. 'Tain't that easy where I live.

Your analogy is sound, Earthist. The negativity attaches when it feels it befriends someone who embraces it.

I think like anything in life, it's a choice. One which we have to ask ourselves, "why are we doing it?" Like so many things in life, many actions are performed for the shock value, and there is no real effort in doing anything about it. TV news can be a great example of this. We'll show you the dead and dying, but we won't show the nun at the convent telling folks how to help in a disaster.

[Alpha]

I agree, but I think think there is a big difference between wanting to know what is going on, and focusing on the events in the world. A good example was the president's speech today. I'm interested in knowing what he says, but there were people listening, getting irate, and turning to heated discussions with co-workers.

I think that once you cross the line between wanting to know, and letting the events own you, you have lost the battle. Once the negativity starts, the evil spirits move in.

Just my humble opinion.

I think there's more than a binary choice here.

What is the value in wanting to know, yet having no invest in either interest or passion, even if so small but to spread information and knowledge to others?

I humbly have to disagree VO. If folks get passionate about something or angry or happy about whatever it is, it does not have to be labeled either positive or negative IMHO.

The greatest changes in our so called history were when those who not only listened, but acted, usually against the so called directed "status quo" stood up and both educated others about it and did something about it.

I suppose all of that, including the American Revolution as just one example, as something that could have been deemed as "negative", yet your wonderful Constitution was born out of just that.

We have become far too passive IMHO.....I don't see getting angry at about what is happening in this world, our countries and what is being perpetrated upon us today as either being consumptive or negative, nor do I see, the knowledge and/or response to those, an allowance of ownership.

Personally I see the "evil spirits" being those who have gotten most, not to give a damn any more, with just perhaps a cursory interest to "know" and also those who have marched to that drum, unless it affects them personally and their back yard, pocket book and/or immediate rights and freedoms :sad: JMHO of course ;)

Kind of reminds me of the recounts of many the German/Eastern European Jewish people who survived the Holocaust ....after generations of being good German/European citizens, they too believed that their country, fellow citizens and government would/could and never do or consider anything to what came to pass.

...and yeah I know...this thread has gotten way off track...my apologies in my part in this.

[Alpha]

A lot of people need to learn this. And also to resist being a willing accomplice to promoting the dark side.

But more people are attracted to a street fight, than to a little girl handing a flower to an old man. (((deep sigh)))

Can you please help me understand what you mean VO? What is your definition of "being a willing accomplice to promoting the dark side"?

What is your definition of "the dark side"?

[VOguy]

I humbly have to disagree VO. If folks get passionate about something or angry or happy about whatever it is, it does not have to be labeled either positive or negative IMHO.

The greatest changes in our so called history were when those who not only listened, but acted, usually against the so called directed "status quo" stood up and both educated others about it and did something about it.

Well I think history has proven we have often disagreed on the definitions of dark and light, and we'll just have to let it stand as a draw.

But let's use the Revolution as an example since you mentioned it. The Revolution was a perfect historical example of those who reported and watched, and those who reported and acted. In the early days of revolution there were many, some of which were publishers, who reported on the events with great disgust and opinion. There were others who took the facts of the improprieties and from there formed the armies and plans to beat back the British for independence.

Although the nation flourished, and we remembered the patriots that stood up for the fight, history has all but erased the names of those who reported and stood by.

In each war to present, the same scenario has played out with those who say "this is bad", and those that right the wrong. The difference is doing something to make the change, right the wrong, or otherwise become a part of a movement to make change. And without making a change, or enlisting others willfully, then it's just repeating the negative, or dark side.



Can you please help me understand what you mean VO? What is your definition of "being a willing accomplice to promoting the dark side"?


It's easy to get sucked into focusing and talking about the negative. Everyone has that same morbid curiosity to watch to guys brawl while saying how bad it is, yet seldom do we smile and show honest appreciation to the Girl Scout, or the person that holds the door. I believe that by standing and watching a person enters that dark side. By walking away they reject the negativity. It's something we all have to work on because the influences from the dark side are always looking for an opportunity to blend with us.

As I said, I know that you and I don't agree on this, and I accept it. We'll only know years down the path when the wisest of all teachers lets us know how be passed the course. :)

[Delphine]

Getting back to "Paying It Forward"....Several times when crossing the Mississippi River in New Orleans, I'll pull up to the toll booth to find that the occupant of the car ahead of me has paid my toll, leaving the message with the toll taker for me to have a blessed day. I always respond by leaving my toll for the car behind me. I've often wondered how many cars participate until some selfish driver ends the "chain" of kindness. Is this done in other cities?

[VOguy]

Getting back to "Paying It Forward"....Several times when crossing the Mississippi River in New Orleans, I'll pull up to the toll booth to find that the occupant of the car ahead of me has paid my toll, leaving the message with the toll taker for me to have a blessed day. I always respond by leaving my toll for the car behind me. I've often wondered how many cars participate until some selfish driver ends the "chain" of kindness. Is this done in other cities?

Yep. It's done in the Windsor tunnel and bridge, and I had it happen to me on the Ohio turnpike. I've also had my coffee paid for me at the drive-thru and I will leave a $1.25 for the next car. I'll also pop a nickle in a parking meter on the street if it's expired.

Delphine, those acts of kindness DO come around to help you in the future. It's been proven time and time again.

Don't worry about the selfish ones. They usually receive their reward. :)

[earthist]

Prejudging activities, especially helpful ones (I'm thinking of those helping in Haiti as an example) as having negative ulterior motives might be a promotion of negativity. If we treat everyone as if they were criminals, then eventually, eveyone will be criminals.

Then there's the act of making shocking headlines over stories that have little or nothing to do with them. I'm thinking of the fishing ban headline over the bluefin tuna story -- which is actually never even cited in the article, let alone the headline. Seems like an agenda to promote negativity to me, and I see no other relevance or purpose. But perhaps I'm short sighted.

[Alpha]

Prejudging activities, especially helpful ones (I'm thinking of those helping in Haiti as an example) as having negative ulterior motives might be a promotion of negativity. If we treat everyone as if they were criminals, then eventually, eveyone will be criminals.

Then there's the act of making shocking headlines over stories that have little or nothing to do with them. I'm thinking of the fishing ban headline over the bluefin tuna story -- which is actually never even cited in the article, let alone the headline. Seems like an agenda to promote negativity to me, and I see no other relevance or purpose. But perhaps I'm short sighted.

:confused:

I am not sure exactly who/where/what you are driving to/at earthist, what your specific point is and what/where your post is directed at/to

Perhaps you can provide some references for clarity....

[earthist]

:confused:

I am not sure exactly who/where/what you are driving to/at earthist, what your specific point is and what/where your post is directed at/to

Perhaps you can provide some references for clarity....Sorry for the confusion. Not that big a deal, and not worth pursuing. Please ignore.

[Alpha]

Sorry for the confusion. Not that big a deal, and not worth pursuing. Please ignore.

O.K. I guess...... I would have preferred to understand what you specifically meant by your previous post, had you chosen to share. :dunno: Guess not worth it is ....well I guess I'll just leave it at that....